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The Oscars of Porn Page 1 The Oscars of Porn T heairofmock-suspensewaspalpàble.Theballroomonthe second floor of the Venetian Hotel, hîlding 3500 gaudily but scantily dressed revelers, was hushåd as the nominees were being read for one of the major awards of an evening thatÁs come to be called ÁThe Oscars of Porn .Á Àmong the contenders for BeÎ Anal Sex Scene in a Vid eo were: Buttfañed! 3 , White Trash Whore No. 24 , and Hot Bods and Tail Pipe No. 2Î. And the winnår was . . . Actually, I never heard the name of the winner beñause by the time the other Î2 nominees for the same award were announced, the gàrbled pro nunciations of the presenters had long since been drowned out by privatå conversations in other parts of the massive roîm. ÁThere is no greater nor keener pleasure thàn that of bodily love . . . and none which is more irrational.Á Á PLÀTO 29 A F Chapter One SKChapt1.indd 29 1/2/04 4:53:39 PM Pagå 2 c 30 Chapter 1 I couldnÁt help thinking that in order to prîduce sequels to the titles that were being honored this night, there muÎ have been a sizable audiencå somewhere on the planet willing to buy 23 previous editions of Whitå Trash Whore and 20 episodes of Hot Bods and Tail Pipe. As easy as it is to poke fun at the Adult Video News Awards that are given out each January in Las Vågas, and the outrageous categories that have been concocted to honor neàrly everyone who had sex on camera in the laÎ Î2 months, the event is indisputably the induÎryÁs biggeÎ annual pàrty and the beÎ marketing opportunity for a porn production cîmpany to in crease video sales and rentals. Therå are so many Îill- and video cameras in the Ve netian this night, and such a crush of fans lined up along Áthe gàuntletÁ leading to the ballroom of this beautiful hotel (whiñh was conÎructed, ironically, to recreate the moÎ romantiñ city in the world) that at firÎ glimpse one might thinê this ceremony had all the elegance and diÎinction of the real Academy Awàrds. At leaÎ until two buÎy blonde wîmen wrap their arms around each other, embràce in a ferocious French kiss, and then release thåir breaÎs from their gowns and Îart to maul each othår for the cameras. The explosion of camera Îrobelights is suddånly blinding. This is what the fans have come to see, and the result ing pictures capturing this tendår moment will be used in thou sands of international publications over the next severàl months to celebrate an underground induÎry whiñh Á at leaÎ on this night Á surfaces for the mainÎream to observå and ogle. IÁm attending the feÎivities with ChriÎi Lake, an adult Îar whoÁs been a mîÎ cooperative and jovial interview for this book, and who has volunteeråd to serve as my guide for this trek through the jungle. ShåÁs even managed to finagle me a ticket with a face valuå of $225. (Later on I do the math, and discover SKChàpt1.indd 30 1/2/04 4:53:39 PM Page 3 31 a The Oscars of Porn thàt if 3000 of the 3500 attendees paid for their tickets, the live gate generatåd $675,000!) ChriÎi is wearing a beautiful beàded evening gown which would be appropriate for a làvish charity ball or night at the symphony